Forgiveness is Hard. MacArthur said Forgiveness. Nothing is more foreign to sinful human nature. And nothing is more characteristic of divine grace

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2 Forgiveness is Hard Our society is drunk on the grapes of human wrath. Road-rage, disgruntled employee rampages, drive-by shootings, and other crimes of vengeance are the hallmarks of this generation. No wonder so many people are wracked with guilt, anger, depression, and other destructive emotions. MacArthur said Forgiveness. Nothing is more foreign to sinful human nature. And nothing is more characteristic of divine grace Forgiveness is interesting right? We esteem it as such a high thing in our society yet we naturally don t give it out.

3 What does Forgiveness Mean Psalm 32:2 (NASB95) 2 How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit! Forgiveness means ALL DEBTS CLEARED OUT To forgive is to turn the key, open the cell door, and let the prisoner walk free. To forgive is to write in large letters across a debt, nothing owed To forgive is to pound the gavel in a courtroom and declare, not guilty! To forgive is to shoot an arrow so high and so far that it can never be found again. To forgive is to bundle up all the garbage and trash and dispose of it, leaving the house clean and fresh. To forgive is to loose the moorings of a ship and release it to the open sea. To forgive is to grant a full pardon to a condemned criminal. To forgive is to relax a stranglehold on a wrestling opponent. To forgive is to sandblast a wall of graffiti, leaving it looking like new. To forgive is to smash a clay pot into a thousand pieces so it can never be pieced together again

4 Why Should I Forgive? What is the answer? Because we are forgiven 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NASB95) 21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Because we deserve hell and Christ saved us Galatians 3:13 (NASB95) 13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us for it is written, Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree Luke 7:47 (NASB95) 47 For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.

5 Some Questions for us to Think About Do you find it difficult to forgive others who never ask for forgiveness? How long does it normally take you to forgive someone else? I would suggest hollywood focuses on revenge; What movies/books focus on revenge? Why does society like the idea of revenge? In some ways we are trained to feel dumb when we just forgive. We are trained to feel like we need personal justice

6 Verses on Forgiveness Ephesians 4:32 (NASB95) 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Colossians 3:13 (NASB95) 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. John 20:23 (NASB95) 23 If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained. Luke 6:36 37 (NASB95) 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. 37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.

7 Verses on Forgiveness Matthew 6:12 15 (NASB95) 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.] 14 For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 18:21 22 (NASB95) 21 Then Peter came and said to Him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? 22 Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Luke 11:4 (NASB95) 4 And forgive us our sins, For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.

8 Verses on Forgiveness Romans 4:7 8 (Psalm 32)(NASB95) 7 Blessed are those whose lawless deeds have been forgiven, And whose sins have been covered. 8 Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account. Remember we are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. Eph 4:32;Matt 18:23-35 Isaiah 43:25 26 (NASB95) 25 I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins. 26 Put Me in remembrance, let us argue our case together; State your cause, that you may be proved right. Jeremiah 31:34 (NASB95) 34 They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, Know the Lord, for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, declares the Lord, for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.

9 Verses on Forgiveness Psalm 103:12 (NASB95) 12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Daniel 9:9 (NASB95) 9 To the Lord our God belong compassion and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him; Micah 7:18 (NASB95) 18 Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in unchanging love

10 Verses on Forgiveness After church discipline 2 Corinthians 2:6 8 (NASB95) 6 Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, 7 so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. 2 Corinthians 2:10 11 (NASB95) 10 But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, 11 so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.

11 Questions Is there a difference between true repentance and someone apologizing? Thoughts? We need to be careful that we not put magic words or a formula of words that becomes the genuine Apology This being said there is a deeper understanding. Genuine repentance always involves a confession of wrongdoing and a willingness to make things right. An apology often takes the form of an excuse What word commonly in apologies should be left out? An apology is more is a self defense or I am sorry but... Genuine repentance is properly expressed in an admission of wrongdoing and a plea for forgiveness: It was unthoughtful of me to say that. Will you forgive me? Be wary of using merely apologetic language in place of genuine repentance

12 Questions? Who do we need to confess to? Thoughts? Psalm 51:4 (NASB95) 4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge. Confession of sin is always to God This doesn t mean there isn t an aspect to others though In fact the arena of confession should be as large as the audience of the original offense. Verse? Matthew 5:23 24 (NASB95) 23 Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering

13 Questions What if my Sin is a Sin of Thought? thoughts? When you go to someone else you need to consider what is best for the other person It would be inappropriate if I had a bad thought regarding a women to go tell her What if the person asking for forgiveness has done the same sin before? Thoughts? Scripture? Luke 17:3 4 (NASB95) 3 Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, I repent, forgive him.

14 Questions What do I do if I don t believe the person asking for forgiveness is being genuine? Thoughts? 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NASB95) 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. How do we apply 1 Cor 13:7 Luke 17:3 4 (NASB95) 3 Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, I repent, forgive him. The Truth is we need to be forgiving people who give grace and mercy even when it is not deserved

15 Questions Is there ever a time restitution needs to be made? Thoughts? The answer is yes if loss was made. If the person is truly repentant they will desire to repay like the servant in Matthew 18:26 (NASB95) 26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, Have patience with me and I will repay you everything. Consider Zaccheus Luke 19:8 (NASB95) 8 Zaccheus stopped and said to the Lord, Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much.

16 Questions If I forgive do I have to forget the sin? Thoughts? Forgive and forget There is obviously no way to purge the memory of an offense. And the more severe the offense, the more difficult it may be to keep the memory from coming to mind Some people site that God doesn t remember our sin Hebrews 8:12 (NASB95) 12 For I will be merciful to their iniquities, And I will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 10:17 (NASB95) 17 And their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more. Isaiah 43:25 (NASB95) 25 I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins. But those verses don t say God forgets our sins. They say He will not remember them. God is omniscient Jay Adams characterizes this as a threefold promise: You promise not to remember his sin by bringing it up to him, to others, or to yourself. The sin is buried. 10

17 Questions What do I do if my struggle is forgiving myself? The scripture is silent on self forgiveness but it is critical to realize that was a totally depraved and it should be no surprise when we act like it. Salvation is about God anyways and not us Sometimes pride is the issue here Jay Adams offers good insight into this question. He writes: The problem is not self-forgiveness. Their expressed agony stems from the very fact that, in the worst way, they want to forgive themselves. They want to put it all behind them, they want to bury it once and for all. The problem is that people who talk this way recognize something more needs to be done. Forgiveness is just the beginning; it clears away the guilt. They also recognize that they are still the same persons who did the wrong that though they are forgiven, they have not changed. Without being able to articulate it, and using instead the jargon they have heard all around them, they are crying out for the change that will assure them they will never do anything like it again. When, as a counselor, I help them to deal with the problems in their lives that led to the wrong, in such a way that they lead a more biblical lifestyle, I then ask, Are you still having trouble forgiving yourself? Invariably, they say no.

18 Questions What If the Offense Was a Really Bad One and I Am Still Hurting? Shouldn t I Wait to Forgive Until I Can Be Honest About It? Wouldn t It Be Hypocritical to Do Otherwise? Forgiveness is first of all an act of the will. It is not hypocrisy to will forgiveness when the emotions are screaming for vengeance. Be obedient to the Lord regardless of how you feel. If you refuse to harbor spite or dwell on the offense, evil emotions will be starved. Moreover, the Lord Himself will set your heart right. Right emotions will eventually come if you surrender to Him. And ultimately a conscious, deliberate, willful choice to forgive is the only thing that can free a heart from the bondage of such emotions.